Hi, I’m arlie.
I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and hold a Master’s of Social Work with a Child & Family specialization. I am also a transracial/-cultural international adoptee (TRIA) with a lifetime of lived experiences. My unexpected journey to healing and curiosity led me here.
In my journey, I came to understand what I now embrace as my “ambiguous grief” from the ambiguous loss that is inherent to adoption. The preverbal trauma of that separation from a significant caregiver, my birth mother as well as my care providers at my orphanage, and the events leading up to me joining my adoptive family was being held within my body. Unbeknownst to me, for the first 30+ years of my life, it was being expressed in myriad ways in my day-to-days which was often relegated as one of my many quirks. It wasn’t until a major life milestone (the birth of my kiddo) that the trauma really began to manifest itself more fervently, forcing me to confront something that, at times, felt insurmountable. In the moment, this was simply reality and I (nor my family) didn’t know what we didn’t know, so we never questioned or explored it. In hindsight, and after doing some discovery work, the signs were there and support for it - for my parents as well as for me - was essentially nonexistent and certainly not adoption competent nor trauma informed. The unaddressed and unresolved attachment wounds created a ripple effect that bled to all facets of my adult life, including work and my relationships. Because of this, I feel a strong sense of personal responsibility to support members of my adoption community and everyone within the adoption constellation on their respective journeys.
I have worked with children, adolescents, adults, and their families in myriad supportive capacities for over 20 years, and have provided services for the adoption and foster care community for over a decade. As a mother, I relate to the specific challenges of parents and primary care providers. As a partner, I empathize with the relational struggles influenced by attachment wounds and internalized shame. As a transracial adoptee and adoption educator, I provide education and support to those who are curious about doing their own discovery work, breaking adaptive patterns, and re-writing their narrative(s).
My Approach
My approach to therapy is rooted in the notion that “we are the experts on our lives” - though we may not realize it. I practice from a Humanistic perspective to meet each person I work with where they are, while integrating other modalities and frameworks such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Family Systems, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy, Solution-Focused, Hakomi Method, Somatic Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Child Centered Play Therapy (CCPT).
I understand that shame is an unfortunate part of our socialization, shaping much of how we experience the world in childhood (and adulthood). This, in turn, impacts how we show up. I integrate the “Healing Shame” framework (founded by Oakland-based Sheila Rubin and the late Bret Lyon) into my practice as well. I practice from a trauma-informed lens to provide each person with the guidance and support they need to achieve their individualized therapeutic goals. My goal is to provide a safe, empathetic, curious, and nurturing space for people to explore, develop, repair, and thrive.